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Manners Matter

Greetings Golfers,

Obviously, there are pretty heated cultural wars going on in America. And both sides are even talking about secession.

Why can’t we get along?

People will always see things differently. In fact, total uniformity is not a good thing - it would be like living in a massive slave state.

But to get along, we need to communicate back and forth … and know how to disagree.

Years ago, I went to a golf seminar in Orlando to hear a famous instructor talk about the golf swing. However, he was shouted down by a group of haters and the seminar didn’t happen.

This happened over differing ideas of the golf swing - not politics or religion.

That’s crazy. 

And … it’s bad manners.

This is where I think we have a lot of confusion.

Some people believe that manners are just a phony power play. I vehemently disagree.

Manners are the grease that keeps human interaction flowing.

Bossy people are annoying (at best) because they have bad manners. Trying to turn our society totally utilitarian - taking away the human element - will only make things worse. Bossy people don’t respect people.

Life is not just functionality. It involves people. People are not robots to be treated like a machine.

I feel we’re losing the little touches that make civilization work such as saying: “please and thank you”, saying “I’m sorry”, turning off your phone, acknowledging people when they walk in the room. 

And not being bossy. Bossy people think manners are a waste of time. Asking people to do something is respectful - telling them what to do is rude.

Shouting a speaker down is rude.

Power plays are rude.

Being demanding is rude.

I’m not saying that anything goes. Not at all. People have to be held responsible for their actions. I’m not absolving that. Not at all. 

What I’m trying to say is that people have to treat people not as a power play. Otherwise - we have war. War within families, businesses, highways, and golf courses.

Rudeness needs to be stood up to. It’s not acceptable.

However, being treated rudely is not a license to start treating people rudely. That’s just doing what they’re doing. That’s not being “empowered”.

Yet, standing up to rudeness is not being rude. It’s self-defense.

Good manners are vital - not a waste of time, or phony, or a power play. 

We can get along with each other … and good manners are the key.

Cheers!

Tom Abts
GM/Head PGA Professional
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Deer Run Golf Club
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Victoria, MN 55386
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