Talking

Talking

Greetings Golfers,

Let’s talk about talking.

The other day I was talking with one of our outdoor reps. And we talked about a former Superintendent who rubs a lot of people the wrong way … but who we both really like.

This former Super can can be a little feisty … sort of aggressive … and maybe even a little self-centered. But, he’s authentic. He’s not a jerk … he means well. And we both trust him.

The rep and I … are wary of calm talkers who are condescending and usually don’t have anything to say. That doesn’t mean they don’t talk … they talk … but it’s not to connect or share the truth … it’s just an act to play a role of reasonableness and superiority.

The rep and I don’t like or trust those guys.

Ironically, language is the great equalizer - we share the same language. Otherwise language doesn’t work.

However, some people don’t want to connect. They want to control.

Remember “Humpty Dumpty”? He represented the ultimate pompous, obnoxious know-it-all. He said to Alice, “Any word I use is just what I choose it to mean."

Woah! He’s deciding what reality is! I thought our sharing of language was based on our sharing of reality - what words mean.

If not … how can we make sense to each other? And if we can’t make sense to each other … how do we connect?

But … some people have no interest in connection … they just want to dominate and control.

And … usually they speak in that controlled manner that they use to seem reasonable and trustworthy.

About 30 years ago, I was at a PGA Teaching Seminar in Orlando. The speaker was a major award-winning instructor. His presentation was delivered as if he had left Oxford to speak to a bunch of morons. The point of his lecture was that the body controlled the golf swing and that you returned to the ball exactly as you set-up. That you don’t find the ball with your hands at impact … that the set-up and body predetermines impact.

He loved to mention obscure muscles in the body to let us know how superior he was.

However, at the break, I asked him how he hit a bunker shot. Because you can’t ground the club in the bunker … you can’t rely on your set-up to hit the shot. I also asked about Jack Nicklaus, because Jack never grounded the club.

He glared at me and walked away.

Was he trying to connect with us? No. He was basking in the glory of his superiority. That’s all he was interested in.

Obviously our country is in a lot of cultural battles. We need people who can connect. We need leaders who can connect to most people. We share the same language … we are made for connecting.

But language and connection are based on the truth. Talking in word salad or just speaking in typical platitudes is just as bad as the pseudo-intellectual who babbles in incomprehensible nonsense.

Truth speakers try to connect. Not play games.

Ah … to play golf … with people who are fun to talk to.

Good as it gets.

Cheers!

Tom Abts
GM/Head PGA Professional
tabts@deerrungolf.com